Jargon Critic

1.
“think outside the box.” what fricken box?! what’s in it to start with?!

I’m at school. I hate thinking outside the box. It’s cold out there. I want to be inside the warm box.


My Calculus lecturer used “outside the box” alot too just like many other have brought it up. The box? I am so good I never have seen the box!


2.
Oh, and “utilize”. And “orientate”. What’s wrong with “use” and “orient”?


3.
“Over-qualified.” Used only by those who are under-qualified.

4.
“Rubric” as it is now used in schools. The same institutions that put limits on vocabulary-building so that the average student can barely hold an intelligent conversation, have the gall to use the word “rubric”? It turns out it means… instructions. Steps for completing the assignment. I find words to be rather delightful, but there’s no need to fix what ain’t broke. Replacing “instructions” with “rubric” does not impress me.

5.
“best-practices” is the worst.
I don’t think it’s the best practice to use best-practices. It sounds ridiculous.

6.
I’ve seen the word “Quixotic” way too much in the past week.

7.
My old boss said “diligent” all the damn time. I was pretty diligent in my hatred of the word and cringing of his use of it! It was as if he invented the word…like he just learned it in english class and had to show off.

8.
“Pragmatic approach” - Why does a word that mean something practical, sound so impractical? As soon as you hear this saying you know the PITAF (pain-in-the-ass-factor) is gonna be HUGE!!

9.
“Developing new synergies/ strategies/ markets/ ….” - Dip shit in candy and paint it pink and white. At the end of the day it still comes out as shit.

10.
I’m tired of “Rubenesque women" and "Chubby ladies". “Fat chicks” is much more direct.

11.
Also why must everything have its own “vision and values” and why must every sports team play with “Pride and passion”. Even Harambee Stars played with pride n passion when they lost to Taifa Stars!

12.
Oh, and our workplace have just dredged “core competencies framework” out of the pond to assist in the annual review process. Its a bit moss covered by now that phrase, but thats when they join our lexicon here.