Theorems and Proofs

1.
Premise I: Knowledge is power.
Premise II: Power corrupts.
Conclusion: Therefore, knowledge corrupts.


2.
Theorem: Women are absolutely evil
Proof:
Women are the product of time and money: women = time × money
Time is money: time = money
So women are money squared: women = money2
Money is the root of all evil: money = √evil
So women are absolutely evil: women = (√evil)2 = abs(evil)


3.Salary Theorem : The less you know, the more you make.
Proof:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time
And since Knowledge = Power and Time = Money
It is therefore true that Knowledge = Work / Money .
Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of Work done.


4. Love
"Do you love your math more than me?"
"Of course not, dear - I love you much more."
"Then prove it!"
"OK... Let R be the set of all lovable objects..."

5.
Theorem. A cat has nine tails.
Proof. No cat has eight tails. Since one cat has one more tail than no cat, it must have nine tails.